Something that I feel strongly about is that whatever your religious beliefs are each of us in this spectrum of humanity have a desire to become better people. In acknowledging that we all want to improve I have found it interesting that when I began my journey of self-improvement I came across the letter that got me rolling on this Personal Goal Challenge. When I made a mental list of what I wanted to improve or develop I realized that they truly are characteristics that Jesus Christ embodies in the Bible, and in the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ.
I made the decision a week ago to start this challenge, but in “Genevieve Style” I procrastinated. Last night I decided to begin setting my goals, and to do this I talked to my husband about S.M.A.R.T. Goals. I woke up this morning and got into an argument with my husband and became so upset with anxiety and anger that I didn’t want to go to church. I lay on our bed trying to calm myself down, with the refrain “I’m not going to church today” in my head. After thinking negatively for about 2 minutes (which felt like an hour) I hopped out of bed and got dressed in the first thing I saw – a dress. I then quietly got my children dressed and my husband also quietly asked how he could help. I love that man!!!!
We got to church and I was amazed at how well Chase sat during our Sacrament Meeting. Maybe it was the “Chase, can you show Emma how to sit reverently?” that did it for him. Emma, on the other hand, wanted to dance and twirl through prayer and as the sacrament was passed out to the congregation. I could feel my anxiety rise and decided this was a perfect time to start thinking about my fifteen attributes to learn and develop.
We are working on helping Chase sit quietly for the hour we are in our Sacrament meeting, right now we are working on just the first 20 minutes, which for me is the most important part of our church services. Chase did such a great job, but I knew that if he was going to sit for the next two hours quietly in singing time and class time he needed to get some of his energy out. We headed for a room that had speakers that broadcasted the meeting in the chapel. Chase played with is train (The train that I played with as a child and now has been passed down to my children), Emma practiced walking around in her new princess shoes, and I sat down to write my goals. I felt peace whisper to my heart as I listened to the speakers. I wanted to laugh when what I heard the first person speak about forgiveness followed by patience, faith, being humble, seeking knowledge, and the difference between knowing and believing. The two speakers gave me the beginning of my list of attributes. I knew that the Lord was speaking to me through them. I felt energized.
By the end of our church services I had fifteen attributes to create my goals. Now the next problem! Which order???????? I kind of froze, then looked at my husband and asked for his advice. He told me, “I can’t tell you which ones to do!” Oh, I started to steam! I was about to snap at him when he gave me this brilliant idea.
“Honey, I can’t tell you which is most important, that is a personal decision that you have to make for yourself. HOWEVER, this is what I do. I first put the goals down in order of what is most important to me. Secondly I write the goals down in order of what I think is most important to the family.”
I sat down to my task and about 30 minutes later I had two lists.
“Now what?” I asked Scott.
“Take the first three of each list and then order them from most important overall. Then precede to the next three. You may find that within those groupings you come across a goal that is found in both lists, that obviously becomes the top of that particular list. Continue on through until the end.”
He was right. In the first three of both lists one goal was in common – orderliness. It was third on my personal list, first on my family list. Guess which goal I will be starting off with? Yup, you guessed it – orderliness.
My Personal Goals For the 2013/2014 year
- Orderliness – I really struggle with keeping up on housekeeping, creating and maintaining routines, clutter, and letting go of things that I might need in the next year (but I’ve had them for ten and haven’t seen them in, like, the last 5)
- Slow to anger – I have a temper! I find myself getting angry sometimes over the least consequential thing, and I know this isn’t good for me or my family.
- Patience – um, well I think alot of my anger issues deride from my impatience. It has been the bane of my existence and I look forward to telling you all about it – after I have started working on the first two goals. (gotta keep you coming back for more – right)
- Confidence/Individual worth – I suffer from anxiety and depression – ’nuff said.
- Divine nature – This is one of the values that is part of the Young Women’s Theme for my church youth group as a teenager, and one that I think goes hand in hand with confidence and individual worth.
- Temperance/self control – I really struggle with moderation in action, thought, or feeling; restraint when it comes to several aspects of my life. I have type 2 Diabetes, although I am not addicted to drugs or alcohol I do have an addictive personality and find that I obsess over things to the point of letting other important aspects of my life slide by.
- Charity/love – I am a good wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend. Why? Because I try to love and show love. HOWEVER, I think that this is something that I can always improve on. Charity is PURE LOVE! The pure love of Christ – and I want to be filled with that pure love, to embody it.
- Forgiveness – I find that when I hold onto my anger it breeds resentment towards others, which then restricts me from any type of growth. I really think that as I work on this it will decrease some of the anger that can so easily best my life.
- Obedience – I expect my kids to follow my directions, but sometimes I don’t follow directions very well myself. I know what kinds of foods I should be eating, but I disobey the doctor and eat foods high in sugar. See! I need to work on my obedience (not only in regards to health).
- Endurance – I mentioned that I struggle with procrastination. I also struggle with follow through. And staying committed.
- Seek knowledge – I LOVE TO LEARN
- Faith/ knowing vs. believing – This was something that someone spoke about at church today, and it really hit a cord with me. It reminded me of something I heard once on my mission. Do I Believe IN Christ or do I BELIEVE Christ. Hmmmmm!!!!!!
- Virtue – I want to become a better person. I want to be remembered as a person who lived my life with righteousness, goodness, morality, dignity, purity. I want to be remembered as a virtuous person. I am a good person – but I know I have a long way to go. I know I have a lot to learn!
- Humility/humble – This song kept going through my mind at church today, so I just had to add it “Be thou humble in thy weakness, and the Lord thy God shall lead thee, shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answers to thy prayers.” I felt like someone was trying to tell me something!!!!! So on my list it went.
- integrity – I want to be more honest. More honest with myself. With others. Not that I am a liar or anything, although I do commit the sin of omission, which is – – – okay – I’m just lying to myself!!! AND I needed a fifteenth goal. So there ya go!!!!
I create my S.M.A.R.T. goal for Orderliness, and we got a head start on Saturday with the kids cleaning and organizing their room. This week is going to be fun!!!!!