Tonight was a difficult one. Chase gets a bit on the angry side when he doesn’t get his way, and for some reason uses really scary terminology. He hates being interrupted when he is working on a project of some sort, and don’t even try telling him how to do it. He has his own ideas of how he wants to accomplish something. He wanted me to staple a “book” of papers together for him. I told him we didn’t have any staples. He went around the house looking for my safety pins. He used them to hook his pages together. I thought it was brilliant thinking, totally outside the box, and told him how proud of him I was.
Later, after we read a Christmas book, he decided to make another book. I informed him that we could do that tomorrow – for it was time to go to bed. He got mad at me and said “I want to kill you mommy. I want you gone forever.” I sat there stunned. I remembered what his therapist told us to say when he made uncomfortable comments such as this. I told him “Chase, that is not socially appropriate (not like he understands that yet, but okay), it is not okay to say that to me.” He looked at me and said, “Okay, Mommy. I’m sorry.” I interpreted this to mean that the tantrum was over (and it was truly a tantrum and not a meltdown – thank goodness).
“Okay, Chase. What are you supposed to do now?” I ask.
“I don’t know, what?” And he is TOTALLY serious.
“You need to go to your room.” I reply.
“No, I have to finish making my book.” He looks churlishly at me. It was written loud and clear on his face. I was in for a fight.
My husband than cheerfully walks up to Chase. He says, “Chase I have something to show you. Come with me.” He, almost giddily, takes Chase’s hand and they both happily walk into the boys bedroom. SERIOUSLY. I always forget that one of the best things to do with Chase when he is digging his heels in, is to distract him with something totally off topic that he forgets what he was being stubborn about.
Scott tells Chase to get on the bed. Chase does it, no questions asked. Can I just tell you, my jaw dropped to the floor. Scott puts a blanket on top of him and says “See, there are words on this blanket. This is the first page in your book.” Chase giggles. “Now here is another page, or blanket, and here is your third. Chase you are at the center of your book.” Chase giggles again. Dad continues to pile on the blankets (I think he is sleeping with seven blankets, including his weighted blanket which weighs over five pounds) and Chase just smiles. Dad finishes putting the last blanket, looks at me and says, “Look Chase, you got to make your book.” NO ARGUMENTS.
My husband totally thought outside the box. The two of them share so many characteristics, and he often can reach Chase when I cannot. Sometimes I am jealous. Not tonight. My anxiety over him telling me he wanted to kill me subsided, I didn’t have to attempt staying calm while I was boiling mad inside, and the kids got to snuggle daddy. He works graveyard shift Monday through Friday so weekends they get the rare treat of daddy snuggling with them, and mommy got to work on sewing projects – everyone scored! Tonight made me totally fall in love with my husband all over again. He saw the both of us struggling with one another, and took over. Moments like this that makes the small trials in life worth while.