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The number three connotes both good and bad – three ring circus, three stooges, three little pigs, three dimensions, three leafed clovers, omne trium perfectum – everything that comes in threes is perfect.  Well, it didn’t say perfectly awesome, because let me tell you – this past week has been one horrible week and it came in threes.

I had a job in which on most days I practiced my skills as a literacy coach.  HOWEVER I also dealt with a manager that didn’t believe in communication and when there is no communication then NOTHING right happens.  Suffice it to say I ended up having a severe panic attack and ended up quitting my job.  In the moment I thought leaving my job was the worst thing in the world.  It led to financial instability, my daughter no longer went to preschool and she was flourishing in that environment, and I no longer had the opportunity to sharpen my literacy teaching skills.  I felt lost.  Now, well, I am much more at peace.  I don’t know what the future holds but I do know that I’m planning on researching literacy activities that would benefit struggling readers with Sensory Processing Issues, and I get to spend more time with my daughter.

Emma helping me plant rosemary, thyme, basal and pretty pink fuzzies - or chives.  She had a blast.

Emma helping me plant rosemary, thyme, basal and pretty pink fuzzies – or chives. She had a blast.

One of the Monsters in my closet mentioned earlier in another post (you can read it here) has reared his ugly head.  Unfortunately this particular monster impacts the lives of so many others that it is overwhelming in it’s scope.  I shut down, emotionally and a bit physically.  Facing your past and putting it to rest is not always feasible, often the ripple effect is awe inspiring – and not in a good way.  This particular monster created havoc in my life for so long and so often I felt alone.  I found ways to deal with the grief, pain, and horror that this monster reaped in my life and thought I had placed him deep in my closet.  The monster escaped this week, started running stark raving mad in the street and curled its tentacles with a vice-like grip around my emotions.  Fortunately I had my husband to kiss my forehead and turn off the lights at night, my mother to remind me that I am a beloved daughter of God and although sometimes we don’t understand why He doesn’t step in and make bad things go away He is there to offer comfort and love us.  Best part though – I know now without a shadow of a doubt that I did not create this monster out of my own imagination – it really exists and the monster is finally being hunted!  Did you know that Ghostbusters, Buffy the vampire slayer, Van Helsing, and lets not forget the Brothers Grimm (loved the film with Matt Damon and Heath Ledger, sigh!!!!) really existed?????  Let me tell you, they do.  Go Monter Hunters!!!!!!

Third bit of bad news this week hit me hardest of all, since it is the one that will impact our family the most.  Apparently, if a doctor puts down “Autism” as the reason for a visit for Chase then our insurance will not cover a CENT.  In September Chase had a major meltdown which we ended up pulling him out of school until we could get his emotions and behaviors regulated.  He was seen by a psychiatrist and we discussed his mood disorder, SPD, PDD-NOS, and she gave him a new diagnosis of Autistic Spectrum Disorder.  Unfortunately the medical code the doctor used for my son’s visit is not covered by our insurance.  Get this though!  If the visit was labeled  for Attention Deficit Disorder we would not have to pay a dime.  REALLY!!!!!!   I’m in shock, despair, and down right in a fighting mood.  One of my favorite movies of all times is You’ve Got Mail.  I love it when Kathleen Kelly “Goes to the mattresses” against Fox Books.  Well, I’m going to the mattresses.  I can’t change my previous employers bad communication skills, I can’t change the nightmares of my past, but do you know what????  I CAN and WILL do everything within my power to change the policy to exclude treating  any medical issue coded under Autism.  Visualize me jumping back and forth with tight feet pattern formations swinging my arms in upper cut fashion.

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