I can’t wait to sit down with Chase and do this form. I plan on sending it to school and asking that they do it there as well. So excited.
Teaching Emotion Regulation Skills to Special Education Students
29 Sunday Dec 2013
Posted Miscellaneous
in29 Sunday Dec 2013
Posted Miscellaneous
inI can’t wait to sit down with Chase and do this form. I plan on sending it to school and asking that they do it there as well. So excited.
29 Sunday Dec 2013
Tags
IDEA, IEP goals and objectives, in the best interest of the child, inclusion vs. self contained classroom
This past month Chase both increased the amount of time he spent at school, then the last week before the Winter Holiday it was suggested that he attend school full time to get back into the habit of being at school. What a huge step forward for Chase. In this past month he has done well, for the most part.
The educator in me questioned so many of my decisions in regards to my son. The thing is, I should have trusted the mommy in me more. While it is true that he has fallen behind in reading (according to DRA testing following common core requirements) and he lost an hour of needed language and occupational therapy he wasn’t ready to go back to school.
He may have made strides with his emotional regulation at school, and lets face it, even at home – I’m loving not having to deal with daily meltdowns – but he just isn’t ready for the mainstream school system. Why? You may ask? Following the inclusion of lunch he began to increase his noncompliance and his voice has gotten louder (He talks with an outside voice when he becomes overexcited or agitated).
In the last couple of weeks he has increased some scary behaviors. In a bit of a panic on Friday I called both his physician and therapist. The therapist gave some great advice. Some of his behaviors are a cry out for sensory input. He wants to “hurt” things, and not only when he is angry. He has been trying to destroy our furniture by pushing it over, he likes pushing and pulling on his father and I. He is an incredibly strong boy, and what if he decides to hurt his sister? He could do some amazing damage. His therapist recommended that when he says he wants to hurt something to ask him if he really wants to hurt something, or if he wants to push or pull on something. If he wants to hurt something call 911. If he wants to push and pull, that is a simpler proposition. Today we had a tug of war with blankets. He won! SERIOUSLY!!!!
His doctor asked what changes he has had recently. I thought about it, and then it hit me. I said the only real change was going back to school full time. He said, “Well, that is probably what has him acting out. Kiddos like Chase have a hard time with the sensory issues of the regular classroom. They thrive more in a one-on-one environment. I know that is not what the school system wants to hear, but we have to be more concerned with what is in the best interest of your son.”
So, back to the drawing board. I will be requesting an emergency team meeting, with his new developmental health coordinator present, as well as his autism specialist. I know that inclusion is an important step for most parents, but for some children being in an environment where they are so sensory overloaded that they begin to break down emotionally is not in their best interest. According to IDEA
To the maximum extent appropriate, children with disabilities, including children in public or private institutions or other care facilities, are educated with children who are not disabled, and special classes, separate schooling, or other removal of children with disabilities from the regular educational environment occurs only when the nature or severity of the disability of a child is such that education in regular classes with the use of supplementary aids and services cannot be achieved satisfactorily.
Chase has an aide, and he receives services, but he isn’t ready. Interestingly enough at his Holiday party his teacher mentioned her concern about him being in her classroom. He loves his classmates, but can only handle them for short amounts of time. I want to have specific times when he is with his classmates – structured time where he can work on social skills. I want to be a part of creating his curriculum and have a more active roll in developing the objectives and goals in his IEP. I love that we meet as an entire team, but I think that meeting with the principal, occupational therapist, language pathologist, psych examiner, regular ed teacher, special education teacher, and the district special education director is a bit much. There is too much going on. I’m thinking that we need to meet in smaller groups, and work on goals one area at a time. If that means several meetings than so be it. If I need to have more medical notations, so be it. My husband and I will do whatever it takes to get what Chase needs, even if it isn’t convenient for the school district.
27 Friday Dec 2013
My house is a sight to behold. The lights twinkle on the tree, but there are no more brightly wrapped gifts hiding beneath it’s plastic limbs. Instead there are scraps of paper that for some reason or another didn’t quite make it into the recycle bin. Scattered throughout the living room I periodically will step on a rogue knex piece. I’m not sure how many times they have dragged the box out, built a motorcycle or helicopter, or Chase’s snowflake machine (my personal favorite).
It’s the day after Christmas, two months of leading up to the “magical” day, and for the first time in years I don’t quite feel the letdown I have in the past. Maybe it is that for the first time in eleven years I haven’t focused on making the PERFECT Christmas. I’ve had traditions almost forty years in the making, however many of them I let lay in my memories. I’m learning that my memories are far more “golden” than the actual reality, nothing lived up to how my Mom made Christmas magical. Instead I sewed my little heart out, read a couple of Christmas themed books, made chocolate cookies with crushed peppermint, and herded the kiddos out into the car Christmas Eve in search of “Pretty Lights”.
Yesterday morning Scott grabbed a bag of my chocolate peppermint cookies, whipped up a wonderful batch of cocoa, and headed out the door to start a new tradition. Every other year we pick Dee up on Christmas morning. In the past we have made it a family affair. This year I wanted it to be a special time for Dee and his dad. Dee was pleasantly surprised to see just his dad, and they had a great chat. I got to keep Chase and Emma busy with hot chocolate and hot gooey Monkey Bread while we waited. The joy in my little ones voices when they saw their big brother for the first time in several weeks made my Christmas!!!!
Other highlights of the morning:
24 Tuesday Dec 2013
Normally my children receive the advent of darkness with the same animation as I do on my way to the dentist. Several years ago I discovered that creating special routine for bedtime made things somewhat palatable for the kiddos. After the kids finally have their pajamas on and their teeth brushed we begin snuggle time. This is my favorite time of the day. My first choice is to read a book, but sometimes I settle for a short cartoon, while we snuggle!
Today, life is a bit different. It is Christmas Eve, and my children are behaving in childlike Christmas wonder. They helped me make chocolate cookies filled with crushed peppermint for Santa Claus. Emma helped me make the dough for our rolls and monkey bread (for Christmas morning), although she almost dumped in a bunch of pepper into the mix. That wouldn’t have been good.
Every once in a while Chase will come and ask me for Turkey, and I have to tell him that it isn’t ready yet. I made fried eggs for lunch, he told me he wasn’t hungry – he only wanted turkey. I sighed and left the room, about a minute later he came back with an empty plate and asked for more. I wasn’t surprised. His favorite meal is eggs in one form or another!!!
I started clean up and Emma walks in the kitchen. “Momma, Santa only comes when we go to bed right?”
I smile at her, “Yup.”
“Is it dark yet? ’cause we can’t go to bed unless it is dark outside.”
I giggle, pat her little cheeks and say “No, honey, it isn’t time for Santa to come yet.”
She walked out of the kitchen with a little less of a bounce. I finish in the kitchen and walk into the other room. My daughter is now in her nightgown, and she once again asks, “Is it dark yet?” I think someone REALLY wants Santa to get here.
21 Saturday Dec 2013
Posted Miscellaneous
inChase doesn’t spin or flap in the way that is commonly seen bit it is still.there, in his own fashion.I love the last line. Right now we putt him in a cat with his tablet and let him play Mincraft. I’m not sure what we will do when he is too big for the cast.
21 Saturday Dec 2013
Posted Miscellaneous
inWhen Chase goes back to school after the Winter break we will be reconvening his IEP team to discuss next steps. I am definitely going to request that we work on incorporating a communication log – since this is something that I we have struggled with since Kindergarten. I am so grateful to Jess’s blog a diary of a mom and her daughter Brooke.
21 Saturday Dec 2013
Posted Miscellaneous
inThe other day Chase drew some pictures and I had him write the story that went with them. He then helped me make them into a book, wrapped them up and gave it to Mrs. M, his Special Ed teacher. His gift touched his teacher, and I could tell it took quite a bit of self control to keep the tears at bay. She told me that they had been working on story form in class. They have pictures with lines and then have the kids cut them and put them in order. The fact that he generalized this skill, really shows that he is taking what she is teaching and putting it into practice.
21 Saturday Dec 2013
I’ve never stopped and noticed how the weather plays a role in the health of me and my children. This winter has opened my eyes to the havoc that barometric pressure plays on our bodies. I absolutely love the chill in the air right before a snow fall. The snow on the ground is a hindrance, but one that in small amounts I welcome. This past week the warm up hit my family like a ton of bricks. My kids started to cough, their noses began to run, and my youngest ended up with a fever that she refused to take medicine for. For some reason if the medicine isn’t orange she won’t take it, and all we had was pink, which is hilarious since pink is her favorite color. My will was stronger than hers, and with the assistance of my husband we coerced her into swallowing – it was for her own good!
Within days I woke up with the tall tale sign of a sinus infection. My head ached, my face felt swollen, but at least I wasn’t coughing up a lung. Until I woke up the next day, and by that night I struggled to breath. My asthma doesn’t bother me very often, but when I am around cigarettes, stressed out, or have a cough it comes back to painfully remind me that I have it.
My house imploded, my kids ran wild, and well we made it from moment to moment. At one point I dozed on the couch. I could hear the kids running from the living room to their bedroom, and even waking up their father (who works night shift and sleeps during the day), but I did nothing to curb their overactive little bodies. I couldn’t. I just didn’t have the energy, nor the drive.
I woke up and was met by this beautiful artwork. Unfortunately it was on the walls and doors. I wonder if Chase realizes that this type of artwork puts kiddos on Santa’s “Noty” list!
18 Wednesday Dec 2013
Posted Miscellaneous
inAt eight I placed both children in their own bed. When I decided to go to sleep this is what met me. I heard her come in at ten. An hour later I thought I heard him. I was right. What surprised me was that he dragged in his pillow and she brought her baby. Now the decision, do I leave them there or put them back in their room.
16 Monday Dec 2013
Posted Miscellaneous
inTonight was a difficult one. Chase gets a bit on the angry side when he doesn’t get his way, and for some reason uses really scary terminology. He hates being interrupted when he is working on a project of some sort, and don’t even try telling him how to do it. He has his own ideas of how he wants to accomplish something. He wanted me to staple a “book” of papers together for him. I told him we didn’t have any staples. He went around the house looking for my safety pins. He used them to hook his pages together. I thought it was brilliant thinking, totally outside the box, and told him how proud of him I was.
Later, after we read a Christmas book, he decided to make another book. I informed him that we could do that tomorrow – for it was time to go to bed. He got mad at me and said “I want to kill you mommy. I want you gone forever.” I sat there stunned. I remembered what his therapist told us to say when he made uncomfortable comments such as this. I told him “Chase, that is not socially appropriate (not like he understands that yet, but okay), it is not okay to say that to me.” He looked at me and said, “Okay, Mommy. I’m sorry.” I interpreted this to mean that the tantrum was over (and it was truly a tantrum and not a meltdown – thank goodness).
“Okay, Chase. What are you supposed to do now?” I ask.
“I don’t know, what?” And he is TOTALLY serious.
“You need to go to your room.” I reply.
“No, I have to finish making my book.” He looks churlishly at me. It was written loud and clear on his face. I was in for a fight.
My husband than cheerfully walks up to Chase. He says, “Chase I have something to show you. Come with me.” He, almost giddily, takes Chase’s hand and they both happily walk into the boys bedroom. SERIOUSLY. I always forget that one of the best things to do with Chase when he is digging his heels in, is to distract him with something totally off topic that he forgets what he was being stubborn about.
Scott tells Chase to get on the bed. Chase does it, no questions asked. Can I just tell you, my jaw dropped to the floor. Scott puts a blanket on top of him and says “See, there are words on this blanket. This is the first page in your book.” Chase giggles. “Now here is another page, or blanket, and here is your third. Chase you are at the center of your book.” Chase giggles again. Dad continues to pile on the blankets (I think he is sleeping with seven blankets, including his weighted blanket which weighs over five pounds) and Chase just smiles. Dad finishes putting the last blanket, looks at me and says, “Look Chase, you got to make your book.” NO ARGUMENTS.
My husband totally thought outside the box. The two of them share so many characteristics, and he often can reach Chase when I cannot. Sometimes I am jealous. Not tonight. My anxiety over him telling me he wanted to kill me subsided, I didn’t have to attempt staying calm while I was boiling mad inside, and the kids got to snuggle daddy. He works graveyard shift Monday through Friday so weekends they get the rare treat of daddy snuggling with them, and mommy got to work on sewing projects – everyone scored! Tonight made me totally fall in love with my husband all over again. He saw the both of us struggling with one another, and took over. Moments like this that makes the small trials in life worth while.